Featured

Walking through the Mire

“This truly is the hardest part. It’s like walking through the muck and mire.”

The process of healing from trauma is a long, hard path. Trauma victims sometimes dissociate from the pain of their past. But the painful emotions must be felt for healing to take place. My second mom, Paula Reid, often reminds me that “You have to feel in order to heal.”

If you are currently going through trauma therapy, be prepared for waves of strong emotions to flood your soul. Do not despair; this is part of the healing process. May this blog encourage you to press on with your therapy despite the difficulties.

Reflections

After my last counseling session, I could feel the anger rising. A small disappointment escalated into burning anger. “Oh no, not this again,” I thought. It reminded me of Dr. David Banner from the 70’s Incredible Hulk series warning folks, “You wouldn’t like me when I am angry!” So much anger- where does it all come from?

I shared this experience with a friend who does counseling, and this is what she said, “This truly is the hardest part. It’s like walking through the muck and mire. Anger, sorrow, rage, and other intense emotions are all part of the healing process and are important to feel. It’s where our honest pain lies. Once we face it, the anger and grief will subside.”

Walking through the mire? Not my kind of hiking. I remember getting stuck at low tide in Morro Bay, CA. My husband and I rented a canoe for the afternoon which we rowed to an island for an adventure. When we returned from our exploring, we were shocked to see that the tide had gone out. We were forced to push our canoe through thigh hide mud. My heart raced as my legs sank into the mire. Fear of being engulfed by the muck filled my mind as we painfully trudged our way back to the deeper water. Thankfully, we made it safely to the dock and drove away grateful for God’s protecting hand.

Photo by Josh Hild on Pexels.com

Healing from trauma is messy. I have seen numerous counselors over my lifetime, but, sadly, many broken emotions continue to plague my life. Remembering the pain, the sadness, the confusion. . . it is very hard.

As we go through trauma therapy, we will feel overwhelmed at times by surges of intense emotion. How do we navigate through such a murky mess? Call out for help. Call out to the Savior. Call out to your spouse. Call out to a friend. Surround yourself with people who will pray you through to the other side of brokenness.

How are you feeling today? Are you feeling engulfed by burning rage or bouts of sadness? Grab my hand. Let’s keep trudging through the mire. Hope is leading the way, and healing is calling from just over the hill.

Psalm 40:2 “He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”

Heavenly Father,

Sometimes we fear that we are going to drown in the mire of our broken emotions. Like Peter, our eyes get off of you and we focus on the waves around us. Grab our hand, dear Lord, pull us out of this pit of despair, and set us on the solid rock of your love.

In Jesus, the Solid Rock, we pray.

Amen.

This podcast has been helpful to me as I heal from trauma:

https://adamyoungcounseling.com/2019/09/14/why-engaging-your-story-is-the-best-thing-you-can-do-for-your-brain

https://adamyoungcounseling.com/about-me/

Doors

“If I had been there, I would have busted down the door.”

Memory 1976?

During the time of the abduction, my father, Ken, travels from Virginia to Pennsylvania. My mother has abducted me, and we are hiding at her sister’s home in Manheim. I am standing in my aunt’s kitchen when I hear daddy’s voice. I call out to him and start to run towards the door. My mother grabs me from behind and prevents me from going to my father. End of memory.

Therapy 2025

“If I had been there, I would have busted down the door!” my husband Sean declares after hearing this story.

Ironically, I later discover that my father did try to bust down the door. I wonder if he heard me calling out for him? Busting down the door caused him to look like the “bad guy” in the eyes of the law. How was he to explain to the authorities the complexity of our situation?

Few people knew how confused my mother was. She had convinced her family of her paranoid perspective about my father. Only after the “sleeping pill” incident did her family realize how severely her mental illness had progressed. Pills

Reflection

Growing up in the care of my mentally ill mother was filled with numerous chaotic and scary events. Processing this trauma is like walking through a door that leads into the mysterious unknown- see painting at top of blog. I painted this picture with a dove above the doorway to remind me that the Holy Spirit is with me as I walk through these scary doors of my past.

Scripture

“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Rev. 3:20 NIV

Prayer

Good evening Father God,

You are a good, good Father. You search for us when we are lost. You tear down strongholds that keep us in bondage. You rescue us from our foes. You wrap Your strong arms around us and carry us back home. Our home is with You. You are our dwelling place. In Your presence is fullness of joy. Help us to find creative ways to enjoy Your presence in our daily routines.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Shout out to Madison, the cashier at Weis grocery store. Your cheery smile and pleasant personality bring sunshine to my shopping experience.

“Well done!” to the medical staff at WellSpan for a safe and efficient biospy of the nodule in my thyroid. Your team did a good job at helping me face my fear of the procedure. Praising Jesus that the nodule was benign!

Thank you Sean for making supper tonight so that I could finish this blog. XOXO!