Sean, my husband, quickly walks out the front door to wave at the ambulance. The paramedics take my vitals, ask questions and carry me into the ambulance. Once inside the emergency vehicle, an intense pain thunderbolts through my chest. I groan, “It hurts so bad!” The paramedic grabs a needle, searches for my vein, inserts it into my arm but misses the target. The second helper trys the other arm and successfully inserts the needle. We cross grassy fields and sleepy towns early Sunday morning on the road to the emergency room.
Doctors ask more question, nurses take vitals, and the EKG scratches wavy lines as I lay on the bed rating my pain. After a couple nitroglycerin tablets sit under my tongue, the pain subsides and I am admitted.
Diagnoses: Chest pain, Positive cardiac stress test, Hyperlipemia, Pulmonary nodule. Other symptoms: Painful bladder and low energy
Lying alone in my room, thoughts of fear creep into view. The slightest tightness in my chest fills my mind with anxiety. The story of “Hinds Feet on High Places” comes to mind. Grabbing my phone, I find an audio version of the book and listen to the Shepherd encouraging a young girl called, “Much Afraid” to climb to the high places of the Kingdom of Love. The Shepherd chooses two companions to go with her on this journey. Much Afraid is shocked to discover that her companions are named Sorrow and Suffering.
I feel like the main character in this book. Why would God choose this path of pain for me to travel. Why not the path of joy or comfort? Why so much suffering?
My mom, Paula, reminds me over the phone that God has a lesson He wants to teach me. He also has people He wants me to meet.
Perhaps these people need to see a Christian trusting God through difficult circumstances.
God is reminding me of His care through the various medical workers such as:
Joe, at Good Samaritan Hospital who makes me laugh.
Bonita, a nurse with kind and gentle bedside manners.
Nick, veteran paramedic who helps me cope with my pain.
Tuya, a nurse who makes conversation and distracts my mind from fearful thoughts.
Ashley from patient transport, who shares about her family
And many other caring and hard working hospital staff.
There are good things to be thankful for:
Text messages from friends
Game night with family in my hospital room
Prayers and words of encouragement
So many reasons to smile and remember, I am loved.
I am healing at home now. This morning I was encouraged by these words in the Psalms:
“The Lord watches over the way of the righteousness. . . .Blessed are all who take refuge in Him”
Prayer
Like “Much Afraid” in the book “Hinds Feet on High Places,” I fear pain. I wish Jesus would carry me up the rocky mountains to the Kingdom of love. But growth and endurance need to be learned and so I keep my eye where my Good Shepherd leads and start climbing the path of pain.
Father God, I ask that you would heal me. This is my request that I lay at your feet. Help me to trust you in all things, even if your answer to this prayer is difficult to accept.
Make my feet like hinds feet that I may climb with You.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
Please share this blog with other prayer warriors. I need lots of prayer support!
My son, Joseph, and I at Hershey Hospital.
Thank you for praying!
Sincerely,
Tina Kramer
healinghope4women 