Irene was a kind, cheerful young woman who loved to sing. She especially enjoyed singing songs about her Jesus. How could such a loving, gentle person do such hurtful things to me, her only child?
Mental illness is a mysterious thing- it can confuse the mind and change one’s personality. Family of origin, stress, and genetics all play their role in why a person becomes mentally unstable.
Stress: Mom often told me how hard it was to raise me on a houseboat. She was so fearful that I would fall off the boat and drown. After raising five children of my own, I can only imagine how many nightmares she suffered about me drowning.
Isolation: After moving from the houseboat, my parents lived in a remote part of the woods near the James River in Virginia. It’s a lovely place to go camping, but offered very little options for a social community and support.
Paranoia: Irene was extremely paranoid with the idea that my father was harming me. She rarely let him hold me. The fear inside her mind grew and grew until eventually she ran away with me. My father would go looking for us. Once he found us, he would try to convince my mom to come back home. Irene would stay for awhile, then fear would take over and she would run away with me again.
In her unstable state, she decided that the only place that I would be completely safe was in heaven. Three times she tried to send me to heaven, but God protected me. See link for details: The Intersection
I wish life were different. I wish my mom would have been mentally healthy. I wish I could change the past and remove all the trauma. I cannot change the past, but I can certainly change the future. I can take steps to break the chains of fear that seek to keep me in bondage. I can trust that God will defeat the attacks of the Evil one in my home. I can hold my head high, knowing that I am redeemed and that God has good plans for my family!
So here we go! Time to move forward and trust that my Jesus is walking with me through the dark valleys of trauma therapy. My name is Tina Kramer and I will not give up, because in Jesus’ name I am more than a conqueror!
“. . . in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8: 37-38 NIV).
Prayer
Good evening Father God,
I am in need of your power today. This path of trauma therapy is really hard. I need you to hold on to me tight through all the mood swings. Be my anchor when the storms of emotions threaten to sink my ship.
I am thankful that my mama is safe with you and not tormented anymore by fear. Give her a hug for me. I look forward to meeting her with her new body and healthy mind in heaven someday.
My mama loved to sing this song while she washed the dishes. It is amazing how much my voice sounds just like her. Song: “I’ve Got a Mansion” by Ira Stanphill.
Thank you to all my readers who pray for our family as I go through trauma therapy. I am growing stronger by God’s grace!
healinghope4women 