“Rose” and I are dining at Hinkle’s restaurant in Columbia, PA. Started over 131 years ago, the restaurant contains an old fashioned soda fountain and mercantile gift shop. A perfect spot to spend time with a dear friend.
I have always thought of Rose as an out-going, life-of-the party sort of girl, but she seems different now. After enduring much heartache, she admits that for much of her life she pretended to be an extrovert to mask her fear and shame.
Pain and betrayal lead her to seek counseling. After years of therapy, and embracing the introvert God made her to be, she now teaches other women how to heal from their traumas in life.
Rose has found that writing is the way to work out her problems with God and life. Her poems express the journey many women travel on the road to healing from past sexual abuse and addictions. I pray this poem will be a blessing to you.
Little Girl Lost
Little Girl Lost- all alone.
Hiding my past- lest someone know.
Wondering what I could have done-
Asking myself “Why was I the one?”
Guilt and regret- clothe me still.
Always there- shaming me at will.
How do I find her?
How can I free-
The Little Girl Lost, inside of me?
Struggling hard, just to hold on.
How can He allow this to continue on?
What could be His will in it?
Trying hard not to be sick.
Lost for years – or so it seemed.
Little Girl Lost, cried in silent screams.
Holding out hope that He was still there,
Little Girl Lost- went on in prayer.
Little Girl Lost- was loved and held,
By the greatest love this world ever felt.
He cradled her and hugged her- crying all along
Hoping Little Girl Lost would find her way home.
He was with her in the trials-
He was with her in the pain.
Little Girl Lost was never unseen.
Little Girl Lost- all grown up now.
Still struggles hard- with the why and the how.
Questioning and asking- looking for hope.
Little Girl Lost- won’t give up. NOPE!
She is learning this it’s OK, to question and to doubt.
And that it’s oh so good- to let the Little Girl out.
Embracing the girl- who was lost and hurt.
Grown Up Girl embraces the work,
Of healing and trust and faith renewed.
Grown Up Girl is finding her way through.
Grown Up Girl- still hurts and doubts.
But Little Girl Lost is showing her how-
To grieve and hope and trust again,
And allow Jesus to be her friend.
Learning to trust in His love alone,
Letting Him take the pain.
Grown Up Girl is learning,
To give Him her guilt and shame.
One step at a time- one hour- one minute.
Grown Up Girl, looks for Jesus in it.
By her side He never left.
Grown Up Girl sees this and rests,
In the love and grace, He freely gave.
Grown Up Girl is truly saved.
Grown Up Girl- lost no more.
Battles on in her healing tour.
Learning that it’s OK to say-
“I do not like things being this way.”
Learning to trust the one who heals.
Grown Up Girl – walks on in tears,
Knowing His heart was broken through-
When Little Girl Lost- was hurting too.
Grown up Girl- now dealing with the pain,
That Little Girl Lost- could not even name.
Merging herself with Little Girl’s shame
Grown Up Girl- understands the pain.
Working on trust as she steps out,
And gives Jesus the benefit of the doubt.
Doubt that He had left her in her pain-
Grown Up Girl sees that never came.
He was there through all the hurt and doubt-
Never ever walking out.
Grown Up Girl, embraces the grace – that Jesus gives.
He paid the price.
Little Girl Lost- Lost no more.
Grown Up Girl- understands more,
Of the love and grace God gave to her.
Grown Up Girl can be sure,
She is loved and held and moving on,
To be Healthy Girl- by the grace of God!
Written by R.S. 6/6/2023
Program Rose worked through:
https://journeytohealministries.org
Journey to Heal Ministries offers an eight-week guided study for adult women healing from the trauma of past sexual abuse. This study is available via 1:1 mentoring or in a small group setting.
Contact Journey To Heal Ministries if you would like to heal from past sexual abuse in a Biblical based study.
“Rose” name has been changed to protect her identity
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