While staring at the cross of a stained glass window, I wrestled in prayer. The year is 1996, and I have a big decision to make. Should I say “Yes” to dating Sean Kramer?
I am 25 years old and have plans. I like plans. I like predictability. Sean is a free-spirited risk-taker who likes to take life as it comes and dream big. But dating Sean would mean letting go of my plans and trusting God with my future.
Fear of the unknown
Fear of what others might think of me
Fear of our relationship ending in heartbreak
Could I let go of the safety of my plans for the unknown?
Sean and I take a long walk, and I share my concerns:
“You are from California and I am from Pennsylvania. How are we suppose to date?” I ask with incredulity.
“I don’t know. I just think it will work out,” Sean replies.
This is not a very convincing argument, and I am utterly dumbfounded. We continue our walk as I try to wrap my head around this preposterous proposition.
On July 19, 1997, I took a big leap of faith and said “Yes” to Sean and became Mrs. Sean Kramer. Even after 28 years of marriage, we continue to take steps of faith together.
Letting go of my plans and trusting God with my future is still a daunting task for me. I have a hard time trusting God. I have a hard time trusting people. I have a hard time trusting myself. Yep, I got a trust problem.
What are some baby steps that I can take to grow in learning to trust God more?
Prayer
Good morning Father God,
Thank you for giving me the courage to take a big leap of faith 28 years ago and say yes to my husband. I ask for Your grace to help me learn to trust You more. Help me push through the dark clouds of fear and move forward in my faith journey.
I pray for those reading this blog. Help them to be courageous in facing their fears, too. May we as the body of Christ stand tall together as we fight the darkness which desires to keep us in bondage.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
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